This week: Conversation 2 – And yet…It Is about you.
We’re reading together the book Changing the Conversation – a third way for congregations by Anthony B Robinson.
Each week you’ll find here a short reflection and reading guide to help you on your way. Previous readings: Intro. Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10.
We didn’t get away with it!
If Robinson’s first chapter (It’s not about you!) gave us the impression that the challenges facing the church are not our fault, and there’s nothing we can do….then we’re half right.
In this conversation, Robinson says, effectively, “it’s not your fault, but you can choose how you respond”. In brief, he works through the following outline when it comes to thinking about our response:
- Understand the real situation including wondering what God is up to
- Watch out for circular and “stuck” conversations that take us nowhere
- Ways of thinking about change – adaptive vs. technical change
- Grieving what was (or might have been)
- Building a sense of urgency about our response
Many years ago I heard a story about a Jewish rabbi imprisoned around the time of the Second World War. Maybe it’s apocryphal and maybe not.
According to the story, the Rabbi spends lots of time thinking, and decides that upon his release he will change the world. In time he realises the impossibility of this task, so determines to start with his own country. When that proves impossible, he instead focuses on bringing change to his town. Struggling even in that task he attempts to change his street, only to find even that task too difficult. After also failing in his effort to change just his family, the Rabbi finally realises that he has the power only to change himself. And so he does (though not easily).
It may not be a true story, but it’s definitely a truth story, and one that I think applies as we think about how to respond to a world in the midst of such wholesale shift as the passing of Christendom and the movement into a post-modern world view.
All we can do is respond personally, manage ourselves. And, in a sense, leave the rest up to God. This brings us to Robinson’s point:
We seldom have complete control over what life brings, but it is up to us how we respond to it. (Robinson, p39)
Robinson advocates giving up on our battle against the change in our world, and instead focussing our efforts on understanding the changing nature of our society, community and church; understanding “what God is up to in our time” (to which I would add “and place”) and then responding with urgency, and creativity.
Stuckness
The image of stuck conversations is a helpful one. When we get stuck in the same conversations, over and over, life and creativity are drained from our community.
Of the four conversations Robinson points toward, which are familiar to you? Which have you noticed happening in your own local congregation or faith community?
- The Blame Game: congregations blaming leaders, leaders blaming congregations, everybody blaming the Presbytery (!)
- We’re not like them: defining ourselves by who we are not, by pointing at others and saying “we’re not them, we’re different”. Do you recognise this stuck conversation in the current political debate in Australia?
- The Magic Bullet: we’re good at this one, searching for the one answer to all our problems. Maybe it’s a new building, or a new minister, or even a reading program like this one. What’s the magic bullet for your congregation?
- If only we could get X new people: They’d fill our pews (and our rosters) and all will be well. Have you heard those kinds of conversations around your place?
What other “stuck” conversations can you identify in your own context?
Adaptive vs. Technical Change
The change theory Robinson introduces here differentiates between technical and adaptive change. It’s worth spending a little time with this idea, and looking for the kinds of challenge that demand either approach (or a mixture of both as Robinson points out).
In simple terms, a technical change relates to a situation with a known “problem” and an identifiable outcome. Make a plan, execute it, and the problem is solved. Building a new shed (or church). Introducing a new song. Electing new elders.
An adaptive change relates to a situation in which the “problem” is unclear, and the solution uncertain. Usually it’s a culture change, or behavioural change that’s required. Merging two congregations for instance, or responding to the kinds of significant social change Robinson outlines in Chapter 1.
Along with understanding the kind of change required in different situations, we might also start to think about the kinds of skills necessary in either situation.
And we might remember that in the real world it’s rarely black and white. That almost always there will be a mixture of adaptive and technical change needed.
Thinking about your world…..
- Can you identify an example of technical change that your congregation has made? Is currently facing?
- Can you identify an example of adaptive change that you congregation has made? Is currently facing?
- What about a situation or challenge that requires a mixture?
- What kinds of skills or approach are needed in those situations?
Grief….
It seems to me that Robinson hits the nail on the head when he talks about the need to grapple with grief. Sometimes it’s grief over what we had but have lost. Sometimes it’s grief over the loss of an idea, of what might have become. The cost of giving up on a long-hoped-for idea is grief.
Thinking about your world…..
- What are the stories in the life of your congregation that might contain some unresolved grief?
- What about your own journey with your faith community…are there lost hopes or unfulfilled dreams?
Developing a sense of urgency
Robinson provides some great insights into developing a sense or urgency. And some questions on p59 to help unpack them.
The only thing I’d like to add is that before a new way of living, and behaving, often comes a new way of speaking. It’s true that our words can create a tone, an atmosphere; we can speak a new reality into being.
And that’s one of the things that I love about where we (in the Uniting Church in Tasmania) find ourselves in 2011. We are starting to speak in new ways about ourselves. We are daring to lift our eyes to the horizon, and finding new ways to tell the stories of our future.
How are you speaking about the future of your church?
Happy reading!
Hi,
I’m in a group of Hobart North people reading through the book, and your reflections on it. Our conversation started on issues within our own congregation. We came to the 2020 process as the evening progressed.
- Change in our world
We talked about the desire, in some circles, to turn back the church’s clock. That is, keeping the old ways of doing church and somehow convincing people to start attending and return us to the mythical glory days.
Despite the world changing so much around us, we don’t look at many other elements of our lives and try to roll them back a few decades. Few people say women should stop working (our group thought parents need to spend time with their children, but that doesn’t mean a return to traditional gender roles). Few people say we should get rid of the internet.
But then we began to wonder how much our adherence to traditional models is really out of respect for people who hold them dear. That led us to a number of related topics:
• We began to wonder if we were using that perceived resistance as an excuse. How many people we perceive clinging to the past are really doing it? By saying other people are stopping us, are we avoiding the hard work of making change happen?
• We wondered if people value tradition most, or community. We decided that for some, it might be tradition. But there are other churches offering that model. Those who value faith community over faith tradition, we hoped, would be willing to join us on the journey.
• “We won’t be here in 20 years, but we want to make sure you will be.” A number of us had heard, from a range of older people in our congregation, phrases like this. That boosted our hope that many members of our congregation would support, and participate in, change.
• We wondered if reluctance of some might stem from past, failed, attempts to change. People may be saying ‘I know you want to try all these things. But we tried them too, and they didn’t work.’ In this case, we we need to earn trust, not give up.
• It was also pointed out that we are being narrow-minded by keeping up tradition for the sake of older members. What about people who we haven’t met yet? What about people who aren’t even born yet, but may seek spirituality later in their lives? What are we doing to make sure that our churches are places for those relationships that haven’t begun yet?
- Stuckness
We thought we are guilty, to a degree, of all four stuck conversations.
A particular one relates to the planned renovation of our building. Were we looking at it like a magic bullet? We decided the answer is no. We don’t believe a refurbished building will reinvigorate our spiritual life, we don’t think it will fill pews (or rosters) by virtue of being shiny and new. We see it as a potential-builder, something to enable us to try new things.
Then our conversation shifted to the Hobart 2020 process. We talked about adaptive/technical changes at length, ranging from websites to developing a changing culture. In the end we agreed that, at this point, we need both.
We agreed that this is the time to try new things. If we do nothing, the church will die. If we try new things, they all fail, and the church dies anyway, nothing will have been lost. But if we try new things and some of them work, the church may find it has plenty more to offer.
- The future
We affirmed the second paragraph of your conclusion, Scott:
“The only thing I’d like to add is that before a new way of living, and behaving, often comes a new way of speaking. It’s true that our words can create a tone, an atmosphere; we can speak a new reality into being.”
We felt talking the talk can help us walk the walk. If we believe we can succeed, we will find the courage and faith to act.
We feel uncertain; we know we need to change, but we aren’t sure what changes will need to be made. But we sense a growing hope. More and more, we feel we can be church into the future.
Heath I’m inspired by the feedback from you group. Sounds like fantastic, insightful and generous conversations.
One thought…often when we do say “we’ve tried that before” we forget about the impact of context. The old “that was then and this is now” response is valid. Time, culture, community and our sense of ourselves is all different. While keeping on doing the same thing and expecting different results might be fraught with danger, there is also the possibility that sometimes ideas emerge before their time…and if we’re patient, well, anything can happen.
Keep wondering!